midnight train to georgia.. nice song.. :D by gladys knight..

today went to school to collect report book.. my bro's cher was mrs chee and she commented that both my bro and i are poles apart.. both extremes.. haha! it is good? anyway.. failed english.. comments as i said was funny.. haha! shall add in later.. mrs neo said my EL is poor cause as commented, it is entirely due to my grammar.. so ya.. i am gg to do smth abt this.. i really cant afford to ruin my future cause of my grammar... shoot to all my lessons for grammar in primary school and kindergarten.. i must have not listened then.. so now.. the price to pay.. chiong all the way.. help is very much needed here.. haha! gonna see mrs koh? mdm yeo? for my english.. before i die.. :( so ya.. and then comments for comb hum. subject is affected by language.. AH!!!! EL!! ok.. MUST MUST DO SMTH ABT IT!! ok.. so that was abt it.. took report book and went to meet haniel for chinese revision.. he's quite ok bah... didn't finish one paper though.. ended with him having a headache after like.. 1hr of chinese.. i was mean.. haha! so we went to makan ba chor mee.. nice stall. we always go there for lunch... well.. at least twice? haha! then came back to school and played scrabble.. quite ok bah.. lost to haniel by 30+ points.. haha! soon we left to go home.. was arnd 1+pm.. dad came and fetched me back.. so yeah... overall, did learn a bit but still not much.. chinese paper in 2 days time.. i am neutral yet i sometimes do have the urgency to do smth for the paper.. my parents sort of don realli think much of the paper and keep asking whether i can go out.. and yada yada.. got pissed off too la... explained so many times but still there were repeated questions... sian... GOOD LUCK TO ALL FOR MONDAY'S MT O LVL PAPER!

------------------------------------------------------
why don't people admit how they feel?
for me, i think that they are just fearful of rejection.
but how would we know whether it is going to be a rejection,
when we don't ever try?

however, it is never too easy to muster that courage.
i really need an answer.
i don wanna waste too much time on thinking,
and getting pissed off for i-don-know-why.

if this goes on,
as my friend said,
things won't be the same again.
and i do fear that. man...

the cold war i started,
should end.
i doubt you don even care that a cold war is on,
since i would always apologise first, and it would end.

i don expect you to say sorry,
at least understand why i am pissed off.
i doubt you know i am angry with you.
i think there's smth realli wrong here..

i think i am wrong from the very start.
i've been fanatizing for a long period.
should i end it now before it is too late?
or should i let it carry on?
give me the word and i know what to do.
----------------------------------------------

tues. worst day of my life.. i almost had depression.. luckily for two great friends who were there for me.. sarah and haniel.. haha... anyway.. got back results agn.. got back.. chem MCQ, EL compre and Emath P2... i am kinda surprised with my emath results.. i thought i screwed that paper but i scraped a decent B3.. phew.. haha... EL.. needless to say screwed the whole paper agn... i realli realli wanna give up.. but hopefulli i can improve during the hols.. most depressing results.. chem.. a stupid C5... way below my expectations... i really need to have a one-to-one talk with the chem paper and myself.. i need to direct my attention to the weakest topic and solve the prob.. my chem is gg downhill now.. haiz... sometimes when u console a friend, it is a form of love don get any form of reciprocation.. heard great news? lol! kinda good actualli highest for dnt 86.5 out of 100.. very good la.. possible winners? anyone.. haha! it is unexpected la.. wait till tmrw and we shall know.. hope i can get an A and then i shall be consoled.. went home today reading through my papers.. wondering where i have gone wrong.. and sickeningly most mistakes are careless.. haiz... WASTED! called my mum on the way home.. and then told her i did badly.. and she started asking is it because my studyin method wrong or not.. and told me to buck up for the nex papers.. so ya.. i cried after that.. i felt a sense of stress on myself.. from myself.. reached home changed into a comfortable shirt and went to the park to exercise.. just ran arnd the park... sat at the swing and just emo-ed and just thought abt a lot of stuff.. just wanna breathe... so carried running and went hm after 30mins...

reached home. ate mantou.. and ya.. nice.. and just slacked in front of tv watching drama serial and soon bro came home.. hate him.. find trouble immediately he come home.. just wanna watch tv also cannot..

i was there for you yesterday but are u there for me today? i think i am heading towards the wrong direction... maybe u are not the one.. maybe i am asking too much... maybe i am reading too much into it.. why must there be 'maybes'? maybe i am just finding excuses.. it is not the time now.. can i let go? i shall.. i realli hate this feeling...

i remember the days when there were 3 of us,
but now there's none.

one of whom i had a crush on,
the other, a good friend.
and you, my best friend.

we had fun together
but it all changed
i plotted against you,
all in the name of greed.

and now, today, i saw you on the bus,
Reminiscing wat i had i done before,
and it hit me.

how immature i was, how dumb i was.
and today i didn't acknowledge you.
i didn't have the right to...
sorry..

--------------------------------------

today's an okay day... started off with tkh coming to our class.. don wanna talk abt it.. it does make sense anyway... nex was 2.4km run.. i am rather pleased with myself for running non-stop for 6 laps and i thought it was impossible.. but still my timing's slow.. haha! was practically walking i think? haha! from the run i sort of learnt smth.. don wanna talk abt it too.. grad nite will be fun as a lot of ppl are gg.. currently, onli diniy, sohail and paula haven pay but they r gg.. ppl not gg are onli 3... rod, wr and chris.. so ya... all girls gg!! haha! that will be fun!

10 more days to MYE and i seriously think i am slacking... i have too much in my mind.. studies will definitely divert my attention away.. i have major problems... MAJOR! regarding everything.. i need to talk but to who? i don know..

congrats to a friend on smth but hey balance ur life k? haha!

mum's at philippines now... yeah.. lol.. she's getting me a guitar from there which i heard from my cousin's philipino maid that the best brand is super cheap.. haha! cant wait.. i might just break the thing... lol.. ok.. must pay attention to studies liao.. time is flying by realli quickly.. don bother throwing the clock out the window.. it ain't as fast.. lame.

no more movies, gg out, hanging out with him.. i shall live by it.. it is my own restrictions... this is smth new, but it is my restriction when being friends with someone who's attached.. :] good luck friend.. i don deserve to be in ur list but if u need to talk, i am here for u..

i hope to be ur first and ur last.. when will you come?